


Hynpophobia

by striderfatigue



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Light Angst, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Phobias, Sleep Deprivation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-25
Updated: 2013-06-25
Packaged: 2017-12-16 03:24:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/857203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/striderfatigue/pseuds/striderfatigue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hypnophobia, is a morbid fear of falling asleep which may result from a feeling of control loss or anxiety over the loss of time that could be spent accomplishing tasks instead of sleeping.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hynpophobia

**Author's Note:**

> My girlfriend told me to write her Striders to explain how I feel so I guess I did? I haven’t actually posted my writing somewhere where people could read it in a while.

It had been about twenty six hours since you had woken up and they had been a productive twenty six hours. You had updated some of your sunglasses interface and repaired a few of the machines on the meteor and now you were sitting restlessly in bed with your alternate universe brother snoring lightly next to you. You didn’t want to waste time, but the feeling of Dave’s arms wrap around your middle was as inviting as ever. You scroll down further on the web page on your phone, bright screen hidden from him by the blanket. The sound of Dave’s soft breathing made your stomach churn nervously, the certain sound of sleep put you on edge almost as much as the yawns escaping your own mouth.

Dave had tried to stay up, he really had, but he’d had a busy day training and bugging Karkat and you couldn’t blame him. Dave always tried to stay up with you. Still though the feeling of dread that filled your body whenever Dave had yawned and hinted that he was getting tired hadn’t quite left. You felt Dave stirring and swallowed a bit, hoping you hadn’t woken him up. You turned around and looked at Dave’s sleeping form, a slight nervousness filling your stomach at the sight of him sleeping. Sleep was terrifying and you didn’t want to do it. You give up, shifting dramatically, trying to ‘accidentally’ wake up your brother. You felt guilty though. You had kept Dave up so long, doing anything that he had wanted in order to put off sleeping. He’d finally fallen asleep without meaning to and you didn’t have the heart to outright wake him up.

A soft grunt tells you that you had succeeded. “What d’you want?” Dave says gruffly, pushing the arm that had jammed itself into his shoulder away.

“Oh, did I wake you?” Red eyes stare at you in annoyance.

“It’s never an accident.” He grumbles, arm going back around you and pulling you down into a spooning position. “Why aren’t you asleep?”

The thought of just answering the question made you nervous enough, but the thought of sleeping had your breathing quick and panicked. You let out a soft noise as you struggle to speak. “I’m not tired. I took a nap today. I didn’t want anything, I didn’t realize I’d hit you.” Your eyes are heavy and your limbs were numb. Dave’s arm adjusts tighter around you and he frowns in concern.

“You need to go to sleep, dude, rest up and all that.” You feel the tears come as Dave said it. Your brain was too tired to focus and you were confused as to why you were crying. “Dirk?” He asked, “oh shit, c’mon.” You turn to bury your face in Dave’s chest. You don’t want to sleep and Dave can’t make you and you feel your throat ache as you struggle to breathe. You push your face closer to Dave’s chest in frustration and you can’t do it. You can’t breathe and you curled in on yourself, Dave’s hand rubbing over your back soothingly. “You okay?” You shake your head, a rasping breath tearing itself from your throat before you dissolve into more sobs.

“There’s not enough time.” And Dave knows what you mean. He pulls you in and keeps you close, head resting on yours. You wonder if his brother slept, if in his universe another version of you got to sleep peacefully and you’re suddenly and unnecessarily bitter about it. Since Dave had told you about his brother you’d found another version of yourself to hate and it was just another Dirk on the pile of assholes. You don’t know why, but the thought of an alternate you sleeping makes you almost scream. You know it has to have happened. There are infinite universes and in one of them you are sleeping sound as a baby. The thought terrifies you to your core, how could any Dirk be so reckless as to waste that much time? To allow themselves loss of control? Ever since your dreamself had become your only self you were feeling the effects of not sleeping and it made everything harder.

“Dirk, I’m like. Knight of time. That’s my deal, I have all the time in the world, we have time to do anything.” And you shake your head angrily because he doesn’t _get it,_ you have an entire lifetime, more now that you ascended, and it’s still not enough there’s not enough time to sleep at all and the thought of not actively doing things makes you want to be sick. He takes your refusal as a cue to stay silent however and instead tries to comfort you with a soft humming. You let out another couple sobs and quiet yourself down, hoping no one else had heard you. They weren’t awake though and the thought of being the only one awake gnawed at your gut. Maybe Karkat was awake, he didn’t look like he slept much. You didn’t think he liked you though and Dave was talking, but your mind was too easily distracted. Your brain ached from being awake. “If you don’t wanna sleep you don’t have to I guess. You should.” He adds a shrug and it seems ridiculous given that you’re both lying down and it makes you smile. His body is warm and the shirt he’s wearing is soft and worn as you bury your face in it, arms wrapping tightly around him.

“Don’t,” you start and he shakes his head.

“Don’t worry I can stay awake for a while. I guess if I don’t sleep at all I’d just like. Pass out and wake up fine. God and all that.” You know he's trying to make you feel better so you smile, face pressed into him. Even if he had lived a universe away, even then hundreds of years separating your times he smelled like home and something about the way he held you was distinctly familiar. You don’t remember who fell asleep first and when you wake up he swears it was you, but stops and says it was actually him when the idea of falling asleep first unsteadies your breathing.

 


End file.
